This may be part of a series if it is thought worthwhile.
Part 1:
Orangicus Itinere Erectus.
This species is very common in the north east counties, particularly during July and August. It is easily identified by its dark plumage with lighter stripes augmented by a fantastic orange collarette about its neck and drawing to a southern point at its midriff. It generally has an exaggerated upright, almost backward leaning gait and carries its jaw at an upward thrust. It is unclear if this is part of a mating ritual. ( I will examine this in greater detail when studying Orangicus Lilicus, the female of the species) For the most part it is somewhat taciturn in nature but when roused, is given to sudden, largely incoherent, loud shouting. This shouting generally involves repeating the learned historical phrases of its flock. Ad nauseum.
The instincts of this particular species are fascinating to observe. They appear to gain particular satisfaction from parading around the nests of other species and discomfiting their habitats as much as possible, much like the Cuckoo or the Magpie. (They particularly seem to like doing this where the Exra politicus or Catholicus Chapilicos are common) They are unquestionably a herd creature although strangely they seem to choose their loudest, rather than their smartest, as the herd leaders.
Unfortunately their numbers have been dwindling in recent years largely due to a declining habitat and their unfortunate habit of alienating other species. They are however a hugely interesting and fascinating species to which, perhaps, consideration should be given to providing protected status.
At the very least they deserve a place in the Museum of Natural History in Dublin which, I believe, they richly deserve.
fitzjameshorse said:
Bill Oddie could not have done it better. Can this species be domesticated? I have heard conflicting stories and as young children regularly visit Castle FitzjamesHorse, I would like to err on the side of caution.
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bangordub said:
Lol,
I believe domestication has proved beyond them despite repeated attempts. Certain musical numbers have been known to lull them into a type of behavioural normality but apparently as soon as they think their “culture” is under threat (By which they actually mean cultural hegemony and utter superiority to the exclusion of any other ethos) they revert to type again. There are exceptions and my only hope lies there.
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fitzjameshorse said:
I have heard that they have a short breeding season…shorter than the Giant Panda…in July and August. Although reputed to have an unhealthy diet…dietary supplements are available in Tescos and Sainsburys. There is no brand reckoned to be better. But Tuborg, Carlsberg, Budweiser and Smithwicks seem popular in Breeding Season.
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footballcliches said:
Very good BD!
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Charlie said:
Fascinating insight.
can it be proved that these creatures are capable of reproducing?
Happy New Year by the way BD!
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otto247 said:
Neque Deditionem!!
But is it indigenous or is it an out of control control species?
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Croiteir (@Croiteir) said:
Otto – I believe that it is one of those invasive species like the planted rabbit, perhaps like the rabbit it can become naturalised and merge with the native fauna to enhance the natural world rather than the zebra mussel which colonises everything to the exclusion of the native?
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otto247 said:
Thanks Crioteir,
Just like a rabbit!
I believe mainstream opinion is that after some success in an experiment by agricultural pioneers Messrs Hamilton and Montgomery with small colonies on the east coast it was introduced more systematically to the region as a control for the troublesome native Irish Wood Kern.
As a naturally defensive and territorial species when challenged it aggressively marks out its domain through the ritualised patrolling and marking of contested areas. Sometimes this marking involves urination on lampposts and shrubbery which it facilitates with liquid supplies carried along the ritual or “traditional” route.
As it is defensive and territorial the only way to domesticate it is to make it feel at home. This may involve rearing it alongside or even to breeding it with the Wood Kern. Poking it with a short stick, laughing at it and telling it to piss off back where it came from has been tried but (at least so far) not with much success.
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carrickally said:
And the first step is to de-humanise…
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bangordub said:
Carickally,
I’m having a little fun but never fear, I’ll be treating everyone equally. the next part will focus on the nationalist side. Plus the middle grounders are in my sights….
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otto247 said:
“Plus the middle grounders are in my sights….”
Your “sights”!? Got the Barbour and wellies on Dub?
I’m not sure we’re very good on the plate. I’m told if you overcook us we turn a bit rubbery 😉 (although recent events haven’t yet justified that traducement).
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Croiteir (@Croiteir) said:
I heard that you tenderise if marinaded in a nice orange sauce for a while
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otto247 said:
This is different. I was just looking at the inauguration on CNN and found this video of liberals giving the gunman a kicking. Maybe we can get some of those Bulgarian Turkish liberals over when the blockade’s lifted. 🙂
http://edition.cnn.com/2013/01/19/world/europe/bulgaria-pistol-attack/index.html?hpt=hp_c5
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otto said:
The comments say this is a stunt. These people look like they might be even madder than us.
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bangordub said:
Lol, as political stunts go, its a good one. I should say it reminded me of Michael Stone and his performance art! Imagine if that particular nutter had got through the doors into the chamber (1 door away if you know Stormont).
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